- I have the biggest girl crush on this girl. Let's be BFFs.
- If my husband puts one more diaper n the hamper instead of the Diaper Genie, I'll be putting that big water logged poop balloon on his face as he sleeps one night.
- Jillian Michaels is trying to put me in the hospital. Go away baby fat!
- I kind of love sucking the snot out with my Nosefrida. Gross new hobby.
- I'm not sure I can handle one more cold day. Bring on spring!