Monday, 5 August 2013

Run for Your Life, There's a Baby on this Plane!

Let me tell you about flying with a baby. My child is sneaky. She had me convinced that all the anxiety leading up to our first flight was a bunch of garbage. My child was an angel. She happily nursed and napped the entire route to New York. People would smile as they passed us, commenting that they never would have guessed there was a baby on the plane.

Oh I was patting myself on the back feeling like Supermom.

And then we began our returning flight. I should have known what was in store for me when Reese peed everywhere while I changed her diaper in the airport, getting the whole back of her onesie soaked in pee. (Don't you hate that?) And I came to realize that I had no back up clothes whatsoever in my carry on. Well played, life, well played. Now I not only had the pleasure of being the person bringing a baby on a plane, but that infant would now smell like urine for the entirety of the flight.

My sweet pee pee princess pulled a 180 during our flight back to no-man's-land- Georgia. We had a window seat. And a nice lady was seated next to me. I was relieved. Because although I have no problem nursing in public, my 18 pound giant of a child wriggles her legs and climbs up the arms of our neighboring passengers, and it makes me a little more comfortable that a woman will be watching the antics of a squirmy nurser, rather than a man on his way to a business meeting.

My boobs are like fire hoses, once the water is turned on, watch out! It takes a while to slow it down. A strong let down and a highly distractible baby mix like oil and water. Every time an announcement was made over the loud speaker, Reese would pop her head up and around leaving me to hose down our neighbors 2 rows ahead of us.

She fell asleep on my chest, and I did my best to make us comfortable in our 18 inch square of personal space, and braced myself for a quiet 2 hour flight.

Well, all hell broke lose, people! She woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. She was stuck somewhere between half asleep and pissed off and there was nothing I could do. We had a full out melt down. She was standing on my lap, arching her back, pushing away from me, crying in rare form. Not one of the 17 toys I had stuffed in the diaper bag would distract this tired baby long enough to calm down.

I was mortified. Like, wanted to hide under my seat with my hand over her mouth, mortified. And then people had the audacity to start yelling across the aisles to each other about how they scored these "wonderful" seats. A lovely woman even had the nerve to turn around and ask me if I had a pacifier to give to my baby?

Talk about rude! I had to get myself in check before my middle finger went flying over the top of the seat. I didn't take the time to explain how my child wouldn't take a pacifier or bottle, and that we were traveling for the first time, and I was a nervous first time mom. Nope, I just shot her a look that could kill and we went on with the good times in 38F.

Just as home was close enough to touch, seriously, our wheels were 50 feet from touching down, we made an emergency swoop back into the air at what felt like 90 degrees. Apparently at the last moment our pilot realized the runway was not clear. So the fun continued for another 20 minutes.

You could hear the disappointment ring out all around us. Joy.

The good news is we eventually had to land. We eventually got home. And that sweet baby had a bubble bath and fell asleep before 7pm. But I am in no hurry to fly again any time soon.

Do you have any flying horror stories? Does traveling get easier with babies? Because Ohh emm gee am I tired.


  1. Bless. Your. Heart. Been there, done that! Mason did great flying at 6 months. He slept a lot. He took a bottle during take off and landing. 14 months was a NIGHTMARE. He didn't sleep. He just started walking and didn't understand he had to sit in my lap. And not pull on the person's seat in front of us. I went through all of the toys in like 5 minutes. His ears hurt but he doesn't take a paci and was done with bottles. It was miserable and embarrassing, and I have't flown with him since (he turned 2 in June). My heart goes out to you! I think I'm going to wait until he's 4 to do that again - after I'm done with the terrible 2s and trying 3s. Lol.

  2. Oh my goodness, you are too much! This is hilarious :) Thank you for not glamming up the travel experience with a little one - love the honesty!

    Instagram: megawat

  3. o_0


    We leave in two weeks and for some reason I have not been nervous about flying. I figured since he is breastfed we could just pop a boob in his mouth and he will be fine. But the distractions, the noises, the tiredness. This could very well be a disaster.

    I'm so sorry that your experience went as it did. I think the people on the plane make it 743289867484 worse. Admittedly, i've been the frustrated passenger who was pissed that there was a baby on the plane but I've never been outwardly hostile. And now that i'm a mother, I obviously think being annoyed is nonsense.

    Le sigh.

    We shall see how our trip goes -- I'm hoping for behavior similar to your first flight.


  4. O my gosh, too funny! She is too cute too! Just found your blog, new follower now :)


  5. Megan! Oh my. We literally just got back into town last night after a few weeks on the west coast, and while our experience flying with Grey wasn't quite the same as yours with Reese (he's still pretty darn immobile), I cannot EVEN BELIEVE how rude the people were surrounding you on your flight. Makes me crazy! I don't understand it - guaranteed at least ONE of the mumblers had 'been there' before with their own children. I'm so sorry, friend. I wish I could have been there to show you mama support. But you're right - the best part about it all is that you made it home safe/sound. Focus on that first leg of the trip - the supermom part. My thought is, the more they travel, the easier it will become for everyone. And really truly, babies in bubble baths make harried meltdowns seem like a distant memory. xo

  6. Umm...we are flying for the first time for Labor day. I am terrified!!! So sorry it went so badly on the way home. I seriously cannot believe those other people on the plane were so rude to you. I would have been in tears.

  7. I have actually never been on a plane before and I def don't plan on getting on with my active daughter haha!

    Oh my I can't believe anyone could be so rude to you! I would have asked her if she had a binky for her big mouth. LOL If I had the nerve that is.. I wish I could have been there to show you some mama love and that everything would be okay. People can be so mean sometimes. =(

    Evelynne did that the other day!! I made the big mistake of playing "Pick a boo" with her before putting on her diaper.. and there she went. All over the place! lol

  8. Ps... Reese is getting cuter everyday!!!

  9. Now that's a story you can tell for a long time, haha! I cannot believe how rude some people are -- do they really think they're making the situation any better with their snarky comments? It's not like you could have exited the plane. Babies are babies, and moms do the best they can.

    We flew with my oldest when he was six months old. The way there was fine, but on the way back...he suddenly got a fever in the middle of the Chicago airport! We took him to the airport doctor's office (thank goodness that was there) and he was diagnosed with an ear infection! We had to decide whether to fly or not and ultimately went for it -- we wanted to get home ASAP. So yes, we took a fussy, sick baby on a SEVEN HOUR flight to Anchorage. Given the circumstances he did remarkably well, but there were two of us to pass him back and forth, rock him, soothe him, etc. Tylenol works wonders.

    Now that we live in the lower 48 again and have three kids, we don't even try to fly (although we might next year, fingers crossed). While road trips aren't easy, at least we don't have to deal with other people.

  10. Ugh I just read this and it made me fret our plane ride even more next month (we're flying 8 hrs!!) I can't believe people can be so rude! It's not like you we're making her cry to annoy people! She's a baby! I'm sorry you went through that :(