Thursday, 29 August 2013
The Awkward Moment of Making Mom Friends
"Wanna hang out sometime?"
Why is that like the most awkward thing to blurt out to another adult? I swear making friends as a grown up, as a mom, is the hardest thing in the world. Sure, if you are one of those people who are surrounded by friends you think I am being dramatic, but I am not.
Maybe you left college with all your friends and ended up in the same town, or maybe you made friends at work, or moved into a great neighborhood where people embraced you from the moment they saw your U-Haul pull into the driveway. Maybe you moved back to your hometown and picked back up with old friends. Well. I hate you.
When I left college, I moved to Orlando with a bunch of girlfriends and had plans almost every night of the week. I'd spend weekends in Tampa with Brandon. My social life was good. Great, even. But now I find myself in a new state, a new city, as a mom, an no one to call for coffee, or a gym date, or to watch The Bachelor with! And it sucks!
This is not a pity party. This is for the other adult women who feel the exact same way. You don't have to be a mom to feel it. A lot of us go through the growing pains of leaving college, getting a job and having to start over socially. And it can feel painfully awkward to try and make friends again. But more so if you are a mom.
Other ladies have complained of losing friends when they become a mother. And maybe that is worse. You are actually still in the same city co-existing with all of your friends who are getting coffee, meeting for pedicures, and having wine after work, and you are no longer invited, because your new priority is waking you up at 1am, and 4am and demanding your attention all day.
We have been in Georgia for over a year. No family within hours and hours (like 12). I am a stay-at-home mom. My husband is a "boss" figure at work. People aren't asking us to hang out. We don't get invited to barbeques or double dates. So we haven't really met anyone. For a whole year, we have been hoping for a job transfer, that we could move away and start over somewhere else. We have prayed about it. And until recently, I have been ignoring God's answer. That I need to stop waiting for our lives to begin somewhere else, and make the most of life here, like it or not.
I know what you are thinking. Why don't you go join one of those Mom groups? Sign Reese up for classes? This is a small town. Small, as in, most people around here went to HS together, never left for college, and thought it was the biggest news ever when an Olive Garden came to town.
But we are trying. Because I need Reese to grow up playing with others and sharing, and scraping knees, and laughing, and begging for sleepovers. I don't know God's plan for us here. But I'm tired of waiting to have a life. We decided to start visiting lots of other churches. Even if we aren't Baptist, Methodist or whatever. We live in the Bible belt of the south, by the way. Brandon even invited himself to play on someone's basketball league. I found a music class for Reese that is just starting up. And maybe I will even start my own MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers group) here if I have to.
So I am off to scare people with my charm and wit. I will be trying not to come on too strong or too quickly, all the while singing, Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe... Because making adult friends suddenly feels a lot like dating again.
Disclaimer: I have a decent handful of great friends scattered all over this country, even a BFF or two. Even a few blogger friends whom I adore. So don't feel too bad for me. :)